If you’re not as gritty as you want to be, ask yourself why. Common reasons people lack either passion or perseverance include the following complaints:
In contrast, the very gritty tend to give up for the above reasons less. There are four psychological assets that paragons of grit have in common:
Each asset directly addresses the corresponding complaints above it.
These four chapters cover these aspects. First, we’ll start with interest.
Being interested by your pursuit is the beginning of developing grit. Paragons of grit say, "I love what I do. I can’t wait to get on with the next project." They’re doing things not because they’re forced to.
Grit cannot truly exist without interest. People who are not intrinsically interested in an activity will not work as hard or achieve as much as people who are.
Research suggests that people are more satisfied and more effective at their jobs when they do something that fits their personal interests. For instance, if you prefer interacting with people, you’ll perform better as a salesperson than as a data entry clerk. Unfortunately, only 13% of adults consider themselves engaged at work.
What this means is that most people are not working in the place of their greatest interest. Of course, not every interest can lead to a sustainable career for most people (like playing videogames or reading books), but there ways to match the attributes of a career to people’s preferences.
Duckworth argues that high-achieving gritty people stick with an interest and have fewer career changes than low-grit people.
Part of the problem is an unrealistic expectation of how interests are discovered. People expect to find something that just clicks and to fall head-over-heels in love with "their passion," just as in romance.
This doesn’t happen in most cases. Instead, passion needs to be developed. It starts with discovery, followed by development, then a lifetime of deepening. You shouldn’t expect your passion to materialize suddenly one day - if you believe this, then you’ll flit from interest to interest, never giving one the shot it deserves to develop into a passion.
A few guidelines around finding interests:
Next, interest deepens after engaging with an activity over time. Through repeated exposures to your interest, you discover fascinating subtleties and facets that you would never find if you didn’t stick with it. (Shortform note: This may be related to the Dunning-Kruger effect – when you know nothing, you think you know everything, which makes the task seem boring.) Eventually, your desire for mastery and continuous improvement becomes the driving force to continue engaging with the interest.
Ask yourself questions: What do you like to think about? Where does your mind wander? What matters most to you? How do you enjoy spending your time? What did you dislike most about your last job or project?
Armed with a general direction, go out and try things. Trigger your interests with related activities. Don’t be afraid to guess.
After trying things, don’t be afraid to change direction based on more data.
Once you find an interest, keep digging. Keep asking questions about the craft. Seek out other people with the same interest. Find a supportive mentor. Combat the disappearance of novelty by appreciating the nuance.
Interests thrive when encouraging supporters, like parents and coaches, provide positive feedback and ongoing stimulation to nurture the interest.
For parents, Duckworth argues that childhood is too early to detect interests. People only start to gravitate to general interests in middle school age. Also, forcing a passion doesn’t work. Allow open play to discover and retrigger interests, before enforcing discipline. This will develop intrinsic motivation. Consider this like starting a fire with an ember – blow it gently to get hotter and light the kindling, don’t smother it.